Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ba-doinger's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, December 5th, 2009
12:59 pm	Finals, Finals, Finals!! There’s something so voyeuristic grading papers as a TA. People write so many personal stories that it’s just so odd. I remember some girl writing about being raped, another about having a brain disorder or something, and another that was going to live in Israel to get closer to her Jewish faith. I’m grading right now, and I had a girl tell a story about how her brother, who died, was diagnosed with a really rare form of cancer and had to take marijuana for the pain and for his appetite. I think the most cohesive story I have is about this girl that said in one of her papers that she lived on an artist commune. It sounded like they were a bunch of hippies. I want to say she wrote once about being really shy and insecure, but when you see this girl, she looks a bit grumpy – and she’s really pretty. I don’t see why she would be so insecure. It’s so odd how much people divulge in those lame assignments. I kinda wish I got to know the undergrads a little bit better – I know Shannon, when I watched her TA, had a really good relationship with the students. Eh, I guess I can’t really do that because I’m male and a bit odd. Lol As inconvenient it is to help, it’s a little bit sad that no one came to visit me during my office hours to get my help. Like I’ve said before, that’s really good because I don’t read the book!! Still I get random emails from students asking me to check their hw and crap. This week alone, I got like four emails from this girl wanting me to check her papers. I feel like I’m a pro at this – lol it reminds me of when Shuby sends me her papers to edit before she turns them in to class. AHHHH! I did it AGAIN!!! As you’re all aware, I have this big problem watching the Disney channel and Nickelodeon ad nauseam in Tucson. I really blame my tv watching on my ex-gf. Before we broke up, she decided to get a night shift job. When we would usually be hanging out, I started to watch Disney channel to keep me occupied. Anyway, if you’ve been reading my blog, you know that the high points in my summer was going to watch Depeche Mode (more representative of my musical tastes) and then going to… Miley Cyrus lol. Yeah, I did…I have no street cred and what? Well, I did it once again. I found out that selena Gomez is going to be in Tempe the weekend after finals and I QUICKLY bought two tickets to go see her. I don’t like her music, but it’s going to be SOOO cool to see her in person, again. *flashback* So, on my trip to visit University of Arizona, while I was waiting in the airport, I was hanging around people watching. I saw this girl with really dark hair, pushing a cart with luggage, with another girl. So I’m there checking out the dark haired girl and I’m thinking, “damn, that girl is hot but really young.” I stare at her some more and I do a double take – “OMG, is that selena Gomez? “ I ran closer to her and hid behind a pillar. I’m so stupid. I went up to her having NOTHING to say. When I got there I was just staring and thinking, “this can’t be her, she’s so pale!” It turned out it was and I got my picture with her. Lol After I got my picture, I ran away… Then I ran back and got her to sign my Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology since I had nothing with her pic. If only I could tell her that, hours before, I was watching “Wizards of Waverly place” before my flight. lol It’s so weird that I was the only one freaking out – all the old people around me were like “who is that girl?” Fast forward a few months later, and she’s being stalked by the paparazzi. I like how she put the XOXO like in Nacho Libre: "Big kiss, little hug, little kiss, big hug" lol Criteria for going with me to the Show I gotta find a friend to go with me! Criteria for going with me to the Selena Gomez show – in ascending order of importance (notice, it’s not a concert, it’s a show. Show = TINY!!): 5. Must be Interested in Disney Channel or other age-inappropriate things 4. Must not judge me for legitimately liking the shows on Disney Channel and laughing at the jokes 3. Must not judge me when I’m in the front row yelling at Selena Gomez or stalking her to take pics 2.Must be willing to go to the show like four hours early lol 1. Must be in the Southwest area and can find a ride. I already have possible candidates (haha, like I’m looking for my vice-president). Shuby, because she fits five through two. Yvette, because she fits the same one… and finally, Crisol because she fits ALL of them. Let’s see if she can go… Why is she a good candidate? • Crisol has a history of stalking J-rockers around the US lol and recently came back from a long trip of stalking. Crisol is good at what she does – I think this would be a big asset to me when I’m stalking Selena Gomez • She looks younger than she is (like me). We both can blend in inconspicuously with all the little kids. • She has some knowledge about Disney shows. Crisol previously “took one for the team” and went to watch the Hannah Montana movie. *Barf* I had to return the favor by going to see New Moon…Now I have complexes I can’t get rid of! (I’ll elaborate more) • We have previously gone on trips before (like the time I went with her to stalk Ville Valo and Suicide Ali) • These two trips were very fruitful, with Crisol meeting Ville Valo and Suicide Ali. **UPDATE** I talked to Crisol and she will be going!! WOOOO!!! I think I’m going to die this year since I saw Depeche mode, miley and selena Gomez… Nah, I still have to meet Kristin Kreuk and Stoya!! :P You’re like School on Saturday. No class lol I’m at school on a Saturday doing my stupid genetics paper – I’ve spent the last hour looking up research on polygyny, because I’m a anti-PC douchebag lol. :P **NOTE** I came in to the office to leave my apartment and kinda get away from everyone - mainly, because I wanted to read out loud. I lock myself in the office space that no one uses and a while later my roommate gets here and goes into his office, next door. *sigh* I can't really read out loud now. I finally made skid row radio on my Pandora. It’s so cool. I tweaked the station to play HARDCORE cheesy power ballads about broken hearts to Slayer. Yeah, I kinda got sick on VNV nation radio – I’m not even a fan, but I just wanted to listen to the random songs that came on the station – seriously thinking of deleting it. My masterpiece, dépêche mode radio, plays a mix of 80’s new wave, mopey british music, and random catchy synth-poppy stuff. Still, I really needed a hardcore, ballsy station…with a touch of hairmetal cheese. As much as I love my dépêche mode radio, I identify with my hair metal brothers lol. Speaking of music I really hate Christmas. I’m definitely a real-life, misanthropic, curmudgeon Grinch, seriously. I don’t want presents, I don’t want to see Christmas movies, and I DON’T want to listen to Christmas music. It’s so BLEH. Nonetheless, I count down the five songs I don’t mind listening to during xmas. Lol I’m so gay… 5. All I want for Christmas is you – Mariah carey (Don’t ask me why, but it’s just the right amount of Cheese for me.) 4, 3, (I couldn’t think of any :( 2. Last Christmas – George Michael ( ILOVE George Michael!! This song definitely is a hit in my car – when I’m sing alone…) 1. Do they know it’s Christmas – Band Aid. ( I LOOOOOOOVE this song sooo much! It has everything! A bunch of singers that I can imitate, cheesy lines, and 80’s all over it.) I actually like to listen to this song year round. It’s so dark for a Christmas song. EX: Bono: “Thank god it’s them insteaddddd of yoooooouuu!” I have so much fun doing all the voices in the song. Current Mood: busy Current Music: Sanitarium - Metallica-ca (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
12:58 pm	I love when my mind wanders... I have so much material, that I'm cutting it into two entries... What's up with LJ's formating? My project assignment is turning me on As you know, I have been working very hard on my Evolutionary Genetics presentation. After the professor made a girl cry, I’m working DAMN hard on it. The chapter I’m presenting deals with phenotypic variation in humans – so it notes differences that arise in humans…skin color, eye color, digestion, etc. I’m working really hard to explain why skin color may have evolved. To sum up and simplify the arguments, we have a group of people who say it was naturally selected. Higher latitudes need lighter skin to absorb more sunlight to synthesize vitamin d and people in the equator need darker skin to protect against sunburn and crap. The part I’m currently working on is how sexual selection may have shaped human pigmentation. Yep, people pick certain colors because it’s hot. Lol So I’m reading an article and they had this written: “`Roman society’s experience with ``nordic’’ feminine whiteness established the model of the blond, ``milk-white’’, and rosy-cheeked beauty’. Hence, there is apparently a predisposition to find light-skinned females attractive even when they are members of a conquered group.” I read that and I was like “yummm” lol there must be a reason why I like my girls to look like corpses… well, corpses with rouge. For years, I’ve been convinced that Evanescence is singing about God It’s veteran’s day and I’m up doing nothing but listening to really crappy music on youtube. Somehow, through following various links, I ended up listening to Evanescence. It reminded me of numerous conversations I used to have with Ryan on our way to the gym. “Dude, I think all their songs are about God!!” I don’t know if I’m just making this up, but I remember reading a looooong time ago that they were on a religious record label or something and that just stayed in my head. “”Bring me to life” is totally about God!! She needs God to bring her to life! They’re lame! Their songs are religious!!” One day, I’m going to look at all their song titles and see if my theory is true… Who knows if I’m crazy, lol but that’s what I think… Oh no! I see a link for Bon Jovi’s “It’s my life” – will I click? Eh, I have nothing to do… :( (totally should’ve been cool 80’s Bon Jovi.) Little kid memories I just got flashbacks of being really really little and my sister and her dumb friend watching Bon Jovi Videos. I remember her being OBESSESSED with Bon Jovi and having DJ Tanner hair she styled with AquaNet. I remember pieces of this day where, and I’m trying to piece them together, my sister and her friend were going to celebrate Jon Bon Jovi’s Birthday so we had to walk to little Caesars for Pizza. I don’t really remember what happened, but I just remember that, on the door, there were all these pics of him and like fancy construction paper. Lol I don’t want to ask her about that. I remember always feeling like my sister didn’t want to take care of me – when she went to the mall, she always had to drag me along. Haha, sorry for ruining your Tiffany/Debbie Gibson mall outing… This was a when I was a little bit older, but I remember my sister being asleep on the couch and Daniel and I lighting my trash can on fire in the kitchen. I don’t remember why we were turning on the stove, but I remember us throwing the sticks in the trash and the plastic bag catching on flames. Lol we ran to the sink and started filling up the dirty mugs with water trying to put it out. I remember some of the mugs having old coffee and also using those. I don’t think I got in trouble that day, even though the inside of the trash was freakin’ black – I hope I’m not making this up, but I remember, after the fire was out, my sister getting up and saying it smelled like smoke. lol It’s so weird the stuff you remember…and don’t remember. • There used to be some girl that was like a niece or something of my sister’s friend. I remember playing with her and us wearing towels like capes. A few years ago, I found a picture of me and her at my birthday. I wonder what happened to her. :( I bet she’s hot now. Seriously, I remember her name being Priscilla! • I remember going to visit my aunt in California and getting a haircut. I remember my mom buying me little kid wavefarers with bear holograms on the lenses. My sister, being the bon jovi fan that she was, drew a superman “tattoo” on my arm. I totally remember strutting. • Speaking of haircuts, I remember once getting a haircut in Juarez and the haircut guy asking me what I wanted and I remember him saying if I wanted my hair like Michael Jackson lol. • I also have this vague memory of going to a birthday party or something in Juarez when I was really really little. There was someone taking pics and I remember being all grumpy and them taking my pic. My mom has that teeny tiny pic on her dresser. Current Mood: content Current Music: Watching Keeping up with the Kardashians (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
8:24 pm	If Food was a girl, I'd marry her... Food fun I have this bad habit of getting really really excited when I make food. Like today, I stayed home from school to pick up Shannon from the airport. When I got home, I had this craving for eggs. Since I was home alone, I decided, like I’ve done many times before, to sing sexually provocative songs about food. Since I was having breakfast part two, I wrote a lame song about it…well one verse. Breakfast (Part II) I need it again because it felt so good I need it again BREAKFAST PART TWO!! Obviously, when I wrote this, I was having breakfast part two lol… Ok that’s all I have so far, but I come up with the CATCHIEST songs when I’m cooking. I even do my best hair metal voice – you gotta imagine me screaming “breakfast part two!” In breakfast part two, I’m going to have an instrumental part where I’m going to record a girl eating, the way Guns and Roses did that with “Rocket Queen.” Yeah hearing axl rose have sex with a girl is cool, but hearing a girl eating a burger is WAYYY hotter! :P I also wrote a song called “don’t touch the stove” but I’m still working on it. I wrote it while I was cooking and burned myself. Of course, this is a power ballad about being hurt…by someone you love. Lol I even started put chords together… lol I’m not kidding, breakfast was so good, I had Breakfast part III at like 7 at night. This reminds me of the old entry I wrote on myspace…time to find it and paste it. Awww I wrote it October 25, 2008…so close. Maybe it’s that time of the season to sing about food. *tear* My song A few weeks ago, I was at home cooking a hamburger and I came up with the coolest song – it was so cool that I wrote it down. Unfortunately, I lost the lyrics. The song was called "Fantasies (Food Fantasies)." It sounded like a cool Dokken song… Sucks I don't have the lyrics. :(  The chorus went somethin like (remember think dokken) – "I've got this urge I must fulfill…*something something* That's why I have…FANTASIES!! FOOD FANTASIEEEEESS!" Anyway, I was so into my song and my hamburger that I even thought of how the cover to the single would be. It was going to be me with teased hair and spandex with my legs spread all open…OH! I bet you Yngwie Malmsteen has the pose I'm talking about… Ok, so I'd be posing like Malmsteen – but I'd be holding a burger in one hand and a spatula in the other. Oh! I should wear a chef's hat on top of my aqua net hair. That would be so cool…a hair metal concept album about food. After that I would do a goth album on just feta cheese…   Some songs on my CD…   1.      Fantasies (Food Fantasies) –mainstream hit single that MTV would play   2.      She's got a nice rack (of lamb) – Cool raunchy song about lamb   3.      When all that's left are crumbs – power ballad about being broken hearted (I'm seriously thinking of pulling out my guitar and writing a song about crumbs! Lol)   4.      I lick my fingers when I'm done – You always need two raunchy songs on your cd   5.      No more happy meals -- a land where there are no more happy meals.   6.      Poor people can't eat – A socially conscious song about poor people…who can't eat   7.      I want you (well fed and satisfied) – Second single that would get heavy MTV rotation. Hit songs always have stuff in parentheses. Back to the present Just for the record, I did end up finding the lyrics to Fantasies. I still have it and it’s all raunchy with grease stains. Here’s a crappy pic of it… Here’s the lyrics: Fantasies (Food Fantasies) I wake up in the middle of the night and I think about you You can’t get out of my sight I don’t know what to do The thoughts just live on I gotta fulfill my needs! That’s why I’ve got… Fantasies!! Food Fantasies! Fantasies!! Food Fantasies! I seriously got to stop writing songs about food like it’s sex…I’m NOT even going to talk about my bright idea to find girls to go on food dates so I can “fulfill my needs…Fantasies!!” When you come up with the term “food girlfriend,” yeah you’ve got a problem…I don’t have a food girlfriend, but I’m looking – yep, a food girlfriend is totally different from a real girlfriend…Think friends with benefits, lol but the only benefit is that you eat together lol. I’m crazy… :) Still working on a term that succinctly explains and operationalizes food flirting… I bet if a girl found out she was your food girlfriend, she’d be really sad… lol “Tommy, are you using me just to go out to eat?” “Umm, yeah.” Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Rocket Queen - Guns and Roses (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
8:55 pm	Graduate school is interestingly boring That’s a first! I haven’t written and posted a blog in the same day in a loooong time. There’s this angry alt model that posted pics of her bruised butt after her fight on her blog…She’s aggressive :) Dumb Foreign student I think the funniest thing happened in my shuttle today. There’s the asian girl that seems like she can’t speak English (she kinda annoys me because she reminds me of Jenny, the Korean girl). Anyway, today the shuttle driver dropped her off at her stop, which was next to a mailbox, and gave her a letter and said, “Can you drop this off in the mailbox for me, please?” I’m not making this up – she got the letter, looked at it and replied, “Oh, thank you,” and walked away. I watched her walk away with the letter just staring at it.   “I wonder why she didn’t put the letter in the mailbox right there,” the shuttle guy said. Lol Kiss your freakin’ letter goodbye. **NEXT MORING UPDATE -EDIT**  So I got to my shuttle and hung around and that stupid girl got there.  The shuttle guy was like "did you mail my letter," and, in broken English, the girl told him that she was very sorry but that she thought the letter was for her and that she opened it.  lol I did a silent laugh because that girl must have been super stupid to open a letter that didn't have her name -- hmm is your name "Electric company" because that's who it was addressed to, dumbass! lol Eventually, she figured out that the letter wasn't for her and she mailed it.  lol Her excuse was that she was "very sleepy" - I think the problem was that she was very "no speaking english" but that's just my opinion. lol I have social anxiety problems I’m still so uncomfortable being a TA. The other day I went downstairs and I saw a swarm of people hanging out in the hall. One of the girls yelled out, “Tommy! Do you know what’s going on?” It was the oddest thing because I had never seen that girl before, but she was in my class and knew my name. Then, a couple seconds later, another group of girls were all, “There’s a class.” I told them I would check just to be nosy – I felt weird though because those stupid girls kept staring at me and I saw them mumble something. :( After being around all those people, I got uncomfortable and ran upstairs. While I was running upstairs, my advisor found me and asked what was going on. I told him I was a TA and that there was a class in our spot. The rest of the conversation was about how there were a billion girls in the class. “So, what’s the requisite for being in the class? Do you have to be female?” “Yeah, anyone that’s male gets kicked out.” I think the best part was we were talking about our “research interests.”   “Yeah, I’m very interested in female development.” “Yes, I agree, so am I.” The funny thing is that we both really are interested in female development. That’s what I want to study lol. I don’t think I was meant to be a graduate student I just came back from a “Science Salon” at the bar (hate that bar because that’s where Shannon and her friend like to go) and I feel like I’m not meant to be a graduate student. The talk today was about experimental philosophy – basically, philosophy that is empirically tested. I was like “isn’t that just psychology?” lol Anyway, I felt like I wasn’t a real grad student because I had random stupid thoughts in my head OTHER than what was being discussed. Here are a bunch of nerds fighting over semantics and mamadas and I’m looking around thinking: ·         “Hmm, out of the five girls in the room, I totally think that girl with the huge glasses and piercing is hot.” ·         “Lol that guy has a sexy mustache…I wish Ryan was here so I could recite lines from Family Guy. “Peter Griffin has a mustache!” “ohhhhhh!” “I know!!!”” ·         They gave free appetizers at the talk and I got full off of the ones I bought and left it there. Then I thought it was the FUNNIEST thing watching people serve themselves from my appetizer plate like it was part of what they brought. Lol I’m so slow… Seriously, I was like “oh, grab my food…grab my food… *grabs food from my plate* EEEEEEEE!!!” ·         Oh!! I was also called racist by the students in my lab. They asked “what’s “going irish” mean on the menu?” I replied, “Oh, they pour beer on your food.” I blushed because when a bunch of white people call you racist – eh it feels odd. Lol at least they laughed before they said that. ·         I then started realizing why I hate drinking…whenever I drink, I get horny and then sad because I have no one to go home too. At least when I don’t drink and I get like that, I can semi hold it in… Then, somehow, I started thinking about what I want in a mate. I always said that I didn’t mind if I found a really really smart girl to be with, but those girls were too intense and not pretty. Then it’s weird…The reason why I decided to date shannon’s friend was because she had everything in control. She had her masters already, had an actual career and seemed nice. Still, I feel like that’s not enough…I never realized how much I valued humor and creativity… Random school business ·         There’s a new professor that pretty much studies poor people and who helps moms take care of kids – something I’m interested in. I wrote to her a while back, and told her I wanted to do research with her. It was so weird because I introduced myself in the email and she replied, “Hi, Tommy, I know who you are!” Well, I had a meeting with her and she said she would be happy to work with me. Then, at the end of the meeting, I got really nervous because I wanted to ask her to be part of my masters committee. I felt like I was back asking a girl out on a date: “Um, there’s something else I wanted to bring up before I leave…I’m finally got permission to start my, uh, committee, and…I was wondering…if you would be, um, interested in being on my committee?” lol Unlike real-life girls, she said yes!! Jk  lol It’s like I told Crisol, “I have a high success rate with women!” Her reply, “because you hardly ask them out?” Exactly…Hey it means something when I get what I want…jk lol ·         Tomorrow one of the funders of the school is coming and, guess what, they’re visiting our evolutionary developmental psychology reading group…Yep, I have been informed that I have to give a brief statement about my research in Dominica. No funsy… Current Mood: slightly buzzed Current Music: Evident Utensil - Chairlift (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
10:07 pm	Antibiotics and codeine I’ve been semi-bedridden since Sunday. It was so interesting how, from Friday to Sunday, I spent all my time with Yvette going to the biosphere, miley concert and the greek fest with no problems. Like we were swapping food and she’s perfectly healthy!! After taking that Health, Emotions, and Relationships class, I’m convinced that every illness is a result of my poor social relations I have in Tucson. Take Sunday’s case study: I had invited Shannon to come to the Greek fest so she could meet Yvette. Because Shannon is attached to the hip to her friend, I had to invite her too. If you go back to my entries, you’ll notice that I kinda “dated” shannon’s friend for a while.  I feel it ended a bit crappy because, she stopped texting me but texted to have me take out her dog while she was at work. I knew then it was going downhill and that I was a sucker. When Shannon got back in town, Shannon’s friend texted me (yes, texted me…so impersonal) that she just wanted to be friends and that she’s been wanting to tell me for a while but didn’t know how. Ok, you want to be friends? Fine. Don’t bug me to take out your dog AND have the balls to call me. Oh!! What also pissed me off was that I offered to pay half her phone bill (long story, my fault) and she never said anything. After everything passed, Shannon calls me up and says, on behalf of her friend, that she wants her money. I was annoyed and said, “if she wants her money, tell her to ask me herself.” Get to the point… Ok, so when we invited them to the greek fest, Shannon and her friend sat away from us “because it was awkward sitting at the table with those guys.” Basically, they just came and annoyed me. I’m sure they’re mad and attribute the awkwardness to my bad attitude lol. So I got all annoyed and kept complaining about how everyone is shady in Tucson and then had to drop Yvette at the airport. On the way home, from the airport, I started getting my fever. It could be a coincidence but things suck here…I definitely think I need to find other brown people to relate to… My time at the clinic Lol In my myspace blog, I remember writing about how I went to the clinic and how everything was really funny. For some reason, even though I was less sick than last time, things weren’t as funny. I turned out I had a 102.3 fever and that my sensitivity to light and my difficulty reading was from having such a freakin high temperature. Lol  They ended up giving me antibiotics and codeine. They also had me buy a thermometer so I could call them up in the morning and give them an update. I took my temperature a couple hours ago, and my fever went down to 100. Yep :) it’s looking good!! Again, like the last time, I saw the pack of 100 condoms for 12.99. lol …And just like last time, I was tempted to buy them even though I had no one to use them on. Lol I can just wear them around in my house.    EWWWW! I remember when I was little, this little boy was all “I’m wearing a condom!” I didn’t really know what a condom looked like, but I knew that you didn’t just wear them for the hell of it!!” Here are my old entries I kept forgetting to put up…Bleh, this entire blog wasn’t interesting…. Life as a TA I don’t know if I should feel grateful, but I don’t do much as a TA. Like I have to grade 100+ papers but it’s not even that hard. No one comes to visit me during office hours either… Haha, good – I’m not keeping track of the material!  I think it’s so funny how it seems like people kiss my butt in class…  *Girl handing in her homework with a big smile* “Here you go! Have a nice day!”   There was this girl, the other time, that sat next to me and randomly started talking to me. I have this feeling she didn’t know I was the TA and didn’t tell her… “Eugh, I don’t like this class! It’s soo big!” I tried to give her a hint by saying I was a graduate student and that my intro psych class was over 200 people…Yeah, she didn’t get it. lol   I’ve been trying to eat every two hours like it’s suggested we do… It seems like I’ve been trying this for years and every time it’s the same…I give up. Lol today I had a epiphany and it come out like a “more you know” moment: If you’re trying to eat every two hours, take a big tupper wear of food and then carry a smaller one. Every time you have to eat, serve yourself in the small container. You’ll have plenty of food. *the more you know!* Lol That wasn’t mean to be funny, but I just seems like I’ll never be able to actively eat every two hours… I feel like I’m going camping when I do that. On top of carrying my books and my computer, I bring a CRAPLOAD of food in my backpack. It’s a bit embarrassing – eh, lol I already have a reputation for eating.      Fun times with the Evolutionary psychology group I mentioned last time that I was asked to do that project in Mexico on parenting blah blah blah… well, based on the literature, the psychologist and I have created (well, still creating) our own parenting measure.  Since I’m in the human development program, I took it as a HUGE compliment that he would write to me and say that he wanted me to work. I took it as an even BIGGER compliment that he invited me to their coffee meeting. Sure, I know all the ev psych students and have them for class and see them every Friday at our joint meetings, but I was invited to THEIR meetings. I really like how non-PC they are – hah, compared to my department. Well, when you get a bunch of evolutionary people together, you know there’s going to conversations about lots of sex and dead babies!! Ex 1: Professor 1: Did you get it in? Student 1: That’s what she said!! Professor 1: No, no… No woman would ever ask me that question. If she does, you have a problem. Ex 2: After going off on how we can’t use sex measures in our Mexico study. Professor 2: So that’s my great position… Me: Heh, position… *everyone laughs* Text time with Tommy and Ryan On Kanye West… Ryan: Kanye is still a gayfish Tommy: Lol!! That’s what I thought! That guy hates everything! Ryan: I wish he hated himself enough to jump off a cliff Tommy: We all want that. Hours later… Tommy: Still thinking about stupid gayfish Kanye Ryan: I hate that douche Tommy: Why is he so relevant to hip hop? Ryan: Cause people are stupid Tommy: Stupid indeed. If he interrupted our bday boy speech, I’d call him a douchebag on live tv. Ryan: Lol! And I’d punch him in his fat face! Tommy: LOL!! Then get the mic and say “go have fish sticks!” Ryan: Lol man that would be so awesome! Tommy: Oh! And then spencer, Carly and Sam would run onstage for….RANDOM DANCING! Ryan: Lol!   On Swayze… Tommy: Jesus take Kanye not Swayze! Ryan: Lol! I know, I’m going to miss Swayze. Tommy: Damn I have a pic of Swayze hugging a horse on my myspace. I feel odd having it now. Ryan: Lol  After talking about toys Ryan: thanks again buddy. I knew I could count on you and not feel dorky describing toys. Tommy: Nah, it’s totally cool. Lol You don’t judge me. Current Mood: sick Current Music: Watching crappy tv lol (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 19th, 2009
2:27 am	People are scary   This is an old post I found on my myspace blog...I wrote it November 30, 2007... I'm including the original pics AND the music I was listening to... When I read my old myspace blog, it's so weird...they were so impersonal... How real is a person? How many layers do you have to peel to really get to know someone? Why do they say we have personas – can't we be everything at once?..          The most philosophical questions come to me with the most mundane things I read about. The news is my muse feeding my curiosity and intellect in ways that nothing else ever will – and I have a problem with it.       Those questions I just asked – I don't know if I'm asking them about myself, about the news report or about people in general – that's my problem.     A couple days ago, while I was reading msnbc online, I came across this story about a missing college student. She lived a normal life, had a boyfriend and went to school – her boyfriend didn't know she made her living posing naked on the internet. He found out and broke up with her.     I don't know how long all that passed, but a few days ago she went missing – she was last seen with this guy and his 16 year-old pregnant girlfriend. Today I found out they found her body.       It's hard for me to understand if I'm trying to figure this weird story out or if I'm trying to figure out why I am so fascinated by it. How many layers did this girl have? How many do we have?     I've mentioned it many times before that I took the myers-briggs test two times before I was in college (yeah, I know people say that test sucks, but it stuck with me). The one thing that stuck with my personality test was that I was so concerned with good things, that I had a fascination with bad things. Maybe that stupid test put it in my head, but I really think this good/bad thing is a big internal motif in my life.     …And I am a good person. I'm not bad and I'm pretty uncool. But why did I want to I have this voyeuristic urge to find out more about these people? It's not even just this one story, I do that with many stories. The El Paso Times featured that couple that killed their daughter and I went on myspace just to see what they were like. I found out that the dead girl had a profile, so I, again, went to myspace just to see it.     Why? What does it all mean?    I don't like morbid things too much – the word "blood" freaks me out. I cringe watching horror movies. I cry watching "Bridge to Terabithia" (lol I still can't get over that stupid movie!) and I a lot of Scott's jokes went over my head. I'm Tommy.        I think there is something so dark about things that are covert and subtle.   It's like I would always think to myself: The scariest Satanists are those that wear suits and have happy families -- the ones that pick up your papers when they fall on the floor. The pansy ones are those that run around trying to scare everyone with their broken crosses and fake blood.     My point is that sometimes the scariest things are the things you don't know about people.    Can you imagine how messed up it is to find out your girlfriend is some internet pornstar? Can you imagine how ugly it would be to find out that your neighbor is Ted Bundy?     Can you imagine how messed it is to think that maybe the way they acted wasn't just an act? Can't they be friendly agreeable people with secrets? Can't they genuinely like to help and eat people too? Maybe it's not a cover up – and that scares me.     "Damn, I used to volunteer with that guy! I can't believe he likes to eat babies! I feel so duped – I thought he was a good person!"    But were you duped? Was his altruism a persona or just a facet of his being? >   Here we are worrying about the Boo Radleys of the world when the scariest people are the ones you least expect, but that are right in front of you.   It's almost 11 – it's way past my bedtime.     Stay tune for my next blog! It's going to be about me and my fitness philosophies! Woooo!     Eh, now I'm even more paranoid and scared of people. Like him --               Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: lol I was listening to poison (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 12th, 2009
9:46 am	I'm tired of being lonely :( (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 11th, 2009
9:26 am	Before my class... Sometimes, when I’m at school sitting alone in my cubicle, I think of Wall-E. I feel like I just come to school and sit at my cubicle and never have contact with other people. Day in, day out, it’s the same constant routine. I feel like Wall-E, for the first part of the movie, was like Sisyphus, rolling his rock for eternity…then he found love *tear* lol. I had to grade 150 papers for a class and this quote made me laugh… “It would be extremely interesting to study someone without nature and someone without nurture.” Yeah, when you figure out how to take out nature from someone, let me know… Cookbooks and ways to kill time For some reason, I was obsessing over hummus all day. For years, I’ve said I was going to make my own hummus and never did. Last night, I went to the store and bought all the crap to make it. I even had the manager and some worker at Albertsons hunting down Tahini. I made it, took a taste and put it away. Lol   It was SOOOO good, but I just decided I didn’t want to eat it yet. I came to the conclusion that I am going to write a recipe book of junk I cook, find an online publisher and get it printed. I was thinking of calling it “Things to cook to keep from Killing yourself.”   I haven’t really decided what I’ll put in the book, to keep with the theme, but it’s going to be freakin tasty!! Recipes I’ll add (because I’ve made them myself)… ·         Queso fundido – greasy cheesy, chorizo would cheer anyone up ·         My cheesy penne pasta with ground turkey and spicy Italian sausage – It’s yummy and I throw in a billion cheeses in there…feta, mozzarella, sometimes cottage cheese… ·         My comfort food dish – It would include chicken, green beans and macaroni and cheese lol ·         My twice-baked baked potatoes ·         My loaded mashed potatoes ·         Taco grill tacos ·         My green enchilada casserole…OF DEATH!!! Lol ·         Hummus and Baba Ganouj ·         The time I made lamb and yogurt sauce… That’s what I have so far… Last night, instead of doing work, I went on craigslist looking for a keyboard. I ended up finding one for twenty dollars but the damn guy hasn’t written me back!! I want to teach myself how to play…it’ll give me something to do on the weekends. :( OH, speaking of doing things on the weekends…There’s a guy that teaches in my dept that has a bar. I asked him if I could cook at his bar, for free, if I get my food handlers card. I was being damn serious. I want to flip burgers like spongebob and pretend like I have something to do… The More you know A while ago, I was really bored and decided to come up with my own “the more you know” PSAs. They came out funny when I said them, but on paper, they look lame… lol Fat girls When I was younger, I thought it would be a good idea to be nice to fat girls. I figured, when I grew up, and they got hot and skinny, they’d remember how nice I was to them. Well, I got older and those girls just got fatter. *The More You Know!!* Fast Food If you go to a fast food restaurant, get your food to go even if you’re eating there. That way, if there’s any left over, you can put it away and eat it for later. *The More You Know!!* Heart Disease Every year in the United states, over one million people pass away from complications arising from heart disease. Next time you go to a restaurant, order a healthy alternative. Instead of ordering a burger, get a veggie burger with bacon on it. Your heart will thank you. *The More You Know!* Safe Words There’s a common misconception that “no” means no. In fact, it doesn’t. Get a safe word, it always means no. *The more you know!*   Old entries I didn’t put in… Good Daze! I woke up today in a pretty good mood, aside from not having any friends and such. I spent the whole day, seriously, listening to “The search is over” by Survivor. It’s the CHEESIEST power ballad and it cheered me up.  Every time I listening to power ballads, I always imagine me, with some freakin’ tight pants, singing and doing my dramatic fist move. Yep, Power ballads = Tommy semi-happy. I need to find a girl that wouldn’t mind me dramatically lip-syncing to power ballads and grabbing her hand in the middle of the chorus… *sigh* Today I had a meeting with a psych professor who wants me to do field work with him. Turns out he wants me to go to Hermosillo, Mexico. I’m a bit scared of that. I asked crisol about the city and she replied, “Alejandra says that Hermosillo is controlled by the narcos, so you’d be pretty safe.”  Uhh, yeah. I don’t want to get shot up…I mean I don’t care because I have nothing to live for, but I don’t want to die and them come out on some creepy website like crazyshit.com or something all dead. Death is so embarrassing.    **UPDATE** So I won’t be going to that… The weekend he’s leaving is the weekend Yvette and I go watch Miley Cyrus. Lol   YAY! Frat boy, FAIL Best point of the day: This lame frat dude was running up the stairs all cool and slipped and fell. He dropped his snow cone all over the stairs. Lol There are days when it’s SOOO great to be alive… :)  I felt a bit bad that I just stared at him and then walked away. Real human beings would stop and help, but I felt like he didn’t need help. That reminds me of two things that happened last semester. I was in my shuttle and there was this girl right in front of us skateboarding super fast. I guess she got a rock caught in her wheel and she FLEW off. It was a pretty messed up fall. It was so bad that I was like “ooh, not good.” Second thing, I remember there was this one time I was walking through campus and there was this girl in a wheelchair with a very, very low cut shirt, with her boobs all hanging out. Yeah, I stared at them. Afterwards, I felt kinda bad because she was in a wheelchair… Purple pants girl I don’t think I’ve written about her before, but there’s this girl on my shuttle that, last school year, wore purple pants and a red sweater ALL the time! Every time I saw her, even two days in a row, it seemed like she had her dreaded uniform on like Ronald McDonald. Anyway… There’s this blonde haired girl that goes on our shuttle (*sigh* I know blonde haired girl, crap, if there were more dark haired girls around, I’m sure I would’ve ignored the blonde haired girl) that has sat with me a few times. I never ever say a word to her, because I’m, well, because I’m me, but I really like her sitting next to me. :) Anyway, I was “saving” a spot for the blonde haired girl to “randomly” sit next to me. The purple pants girl came in and, I thought she was going to sit in the empty seat on the aisle next to me, ended up sitting next to me!! RIGHT after, the blonde haired girl came in and sat alone. FAIL.   I’m hoping she can sit next to me again. She looks high maintenance and Abercrombie-ish but I need someone to fantasize about lol. When you can’t be with the one (type) you love the one (type) you’re with.   Fun Times! Tommy: Lol I was looking at amateur porn and they had this fat girl and someone left a comment that said “clean your room.” It made me laugh. Lisa: I love any text that begins with “I was looking at amateur porn…” :D Survey Pick your Artist: Depeche Mode Are you a male or female?: People are People Describe yourself: Stripped How do you feel: A Question of Lust Describe where you currently live: New Life If you could go anywhere, where would you go: In your room Your favourite form of transportation: Behind the wheel Your best friend is: Dreaming of me You and your best friends are:  Walking in my shoes What's the weather like: Wrong Favourite time of day: Waiting for the night If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Master and Servant What is life to you: Blasphemous rumours Your last relationship: Strangelove Your current relationship: In Chains Your fear: See you What is the best advice you have to give: Never let me down again Thought for the Day: Suffer well How I would like to die: Martyr Looking for: Somebody If you could change your name, you would change it to: Personal Jesus Wouldn’t mind: Love in itself My soul's present condition: It’s no good Most Faithful Companion: Precious My motto: Enjoy the silence   Current Mood: busy Current Music: SOmething random on my pandora (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
10:16 am	Loud neighbors, narcolepsy and Somebody These were written last Friday… Same story, new neighbors I don’t know if I’ve written about the voyeuristic nature of my room in my LJ, but I know for sure I did on myspace. Anyway, I’m cursed blessed with the ability to hear my neighbors doing it in the room next to me. My paper-thin walls allow me to hear BEYOND what I would like. I could say, and I said it in my old blog, that my neighbors really sucked. They were so boring! Thankfully, those neighbors moved away and the apartment was left empty. Sometime last week, I had two sisters move in the apartment. Last night, unexpectedly, I woke up freaked out because I heard loud noises – yep, it happened again. My neighbors were so loud, they woke me up from my sleep – I don’t go around looking for these noises, they come for me! My neighbor was so loud, I could hear her answer her phone while stuff was happening. She was talking and then quickly yelled “ok, I gotta let you go, bye!” Another time, I heard her yell, “ I didn’t know you could do that!” I don’t learn, I just laugh Today we had a meeting for my lab and I was so immature. :( I was the only one that giggled when my professor said “chimpanzee balls.”   I looked at my roommate and then at everyone and they were all so intense listening to his argument about evolution and gonad development. *sigh* Then I wanted to laugh because they were talking about hunting and the different human ancestors that hunted and the other professor mentioned something about “homos hunting” and I had to really concentrate not to laugh.  These are my recent writings… I think I have narcolepsy On Monday, I was SOOOO close to going to sleep in my Behavioral and evolutionary genetics class. Like I kept nodding off, my eyes kept getting heavy and my hand got so weak I couldn’t write. Since it was a tiny graduate class, I’m sure everyone saw me pulling a grandpa simpson in class.  I wonder if I have a sleep disorder? I’m always sleepy and always want to take naps during the day. I looked up narcolepsy and they said it’s characterized by need for afternoon naps.  Yeah, it could’ve been that I didn’t get sleep the day before because I was at Depeche Mode, which was an AMAZING concert, by the way, but even when I don’t stay out late and go to bed at 10, I always want to sleep during the day. Lol I could also be depression. I remember last school year, I’d just lie in bed on the weekends, covered in my blankets, and too lazy to eat, shower and brush my teeth… When I was in Dominica, the Italian grad student/post-doc joked, “damn, Tommy, you take so many naps!! Are you on morphine?!” It’s true, I would take a bunch of naps – I noticed too, that when they served me black coffee, which I don’t normally drink, I’d be able to go back to bed. Depeche Mode I don’t have much to say about Depeche Mode, except that I had the BEST time there! I was so sad they didn’t play “Shake the disease” – I was really looking forward to it, among a bunch of other songs. Still I got SOOO excited when they played “Somebody” because I’m a big wuss. Lol My stupid sister kept bugging me during that song because “she had never heard it” – yeah, I was annoyed because that was my wussy jam! Lol Dave Gahan is a sexy sexy dude – Even though his dance moves were a bit gay, I wished I could dance like that… Here’s “Question of Time” from phoenix, where he does his sexy rockstar moves…     So it’s official Shannon’s friend let me know that “she wanted to be friends” because “we didn’t really have much to talk about.” Bull. I would always text her to start conversations – she was the one that replied with two words (if at all). I think she just had it in her head that she didn’t want anything with me. I’m really fucking sick of meeting flaky girls in Tucson.  Usually, when dating doesn’t work out and it’s pretty serious, I pretty much have the girl become “dead to me” and I never talk to her again. Since, she’s shannon’s friend, and I’ll be running into her a lot, I’ll have to keep it cool. Hm, couldn’t she have told me while I was out of country and making the effort to email and call her? Hm, she had a lot to talk about then? Couldn’t she have done it when she texted me to look after her dumb dog? Yeah, I saw her damn dog more than I saw her. I’m a bit pissed off.  Still, I feel like what I’m experiencing is more like learned helplessness. I’m pretty much like “oh, another girl flaked out.  I know the drill.”  Now, I just need to get laid… lol…or find me a girl like in “somebody” lol…Hell, let’s put up that wussy song so we all can hear it! (It really doesn’t help that my roommate has constantly told he how he was “this close to getting laid” and how this girl he’s dating loves his muscles…) As much as I wish I was as sexy as Dave Gahan, I KNOW I’m probably more like Martin Gore, creepy and sensitive. Lol  Here he is singing somebody, which I love to sing in my car when I’m all alone. *tear* lol     Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: True Faith - New Order (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 29th, 2009
10:11 am	Lonely times in Tucson Has anyone heard this song called Supermaket (my angel)? It's by some german band but I really like it. Anyway... I’ve been feeling lonely and neglected since last night. :( Maybe I’m still feeling bad about leaving El Paso early or maybe I’m just a big wuss lol. Seriously, pretty much all weekend I spent just lying in bed – I haven’t shaved since last Monday and I really need a haircut. I spent a few hours cleaning my external hard drive (formerly my old laptop) and looked at old pictures of her. She was so pretty. :( I really think I lose my mind a bit when I’m in Tucson – I’m always so damn lonely. Here’s a lame example. I need to preface that this story may cause me to lose my street cred, so please don’t laugh at me…too much! Gayest Story in history It’s no secret that I spend my days watching too much Disney channel and Nickelodeon when I’m not working.  So the other day, at work, I was looking up dépêche mode tickets to buy for August (I’m planning to go with my sister and Ryan). I was a bit pissed off because it was my sister’s job to buy tickets MONTHS ago when they actually had good seats. So I went to livenation and all the upcoming concerts in the area popped up. As I was looking at what they had – Nickelback (GAG, Barf), The fray (Bleh) – I noticed someone that got me, embarrassingly, a bit excited. Ok, so I kept reading down the list – blah blah blah –until, *gasp* Miley Cyrus!!! Lol Being the dumbass that I am, I quickly click on the Miley link and put that I want two tickets for the best available seats, expecting all the teeny-bopper little girls to have purchased all the good seats. To my surprise, I end up with pretty damn good floor seats! We all know that I’m a HUGE cheap ass and I never want to go out and spend money, but my first reaction was to take out my credit card. Five minutes later, I became the proud owner of two floor seat tickets to Miley Cyrus *sigh*. Honestly, I don’t think I really lose my street cred when I admit I watch Disney Channel. Instead of calling me a “pansy,” people usually just call me a “perv.” Lol   For the record, I LOVE the shows on the Disney channel for non-perv reasons! My first reaction was to text Shannon’s friend and let her know – I told her that “I wasn’t really a big fan, but just wanted to go.” We texted back and forth and it seems like she doesn’t want to go. Lol one of texts was like “don’t a bunch of little girls go to those concerts?” *sigh* No one gets it…I got so depressed that I packed up my stuff and went home to go to sleep. Lol I was so sad, I had the heartbreak pains.  Do you ever get those pains?  It like starts off in your left forearm and then travels up to your chest. I'm serious. That’s my story…I REALLY hope Shuby decides to visit so we could watch Miley together.  As for Depeche Mode, I’m still working on getting those tickets…   I wrote this last week but never finished everything I was going to put… Back to work... I just spent the past 45 minutes scraping off a sticker covering “Evolved” on my The woman that never evolved book.  I’m annoyed. I went back to El Paso for a week, wanting to stay longer, but realized I had lots to do at school. It turns out my professor is STILL on vacation! This means I could’ve stayed home a bit longer. I feel bad though – as much as I wanted to stay, I wanted to leave.  I get overwhelmed.  Speaking of overwhelmed… Does this ever happen to you? There is an event that is going to occur in your life – the event is inevitable and you prepare yourself to expect it. A constant image in excruciatingly replayed in your mind over and over, burning the emotions you should feel at that moment. You think that by experiencing those emotions and preparing yourself for the event will make you immune when the event finally comes.  When the inevitable happens, you still feel like crap, despite your mental training. :( I would get into details but I feel that there may people that are not privileged to know my specific pains… Haha, you can always ask and see if I’ll tell you… :p   Ryan likes deformed girls Ryan: Did you hear about the girl that suing Abercrombie because she was discriminated because she has a nub arm? Tommy: Ewww! Ryan: Nah, she’s hot!! Haha I looked her up and she really is hot! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-192674/I-banished-stockroom-says-disabled-shop-girl-suing-Abercrombie--Fitch-discrimination.html I bet she could make a lot of money as an amputee fetish model. I saw this girl that was missing a leg once in this English magazine. I imagine her have an array of arms for specific uses… I can see her driving down the highway when some loser cuts her of the road. *Pop!* (that’s the noise her fake arm makes when it comes off) *grabs arm with fist hand* How dare you cut me off you bastard! *shakes fist* Current Mood: lonely Current Music: In Between Days -- The Cure (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
1:17 pm	Technology and Mates Isn’t it so interesting how technology has shrunk the world? It’s so weird how that affects everything – specifically, the implications it has on mate selection. (*sigh* I really have to stop thinking about girls and relationships…) Think about it, without TV, internet, magazines (yes, I consider print an innovation), etc. We would have no knowledge about potential alternate mates. Like if we lived in a village, if we got married, it would be only to the girls close to us – sure men would probably disperse to other villages to find mates, but we would have a finite amount of choices within walking range.  All these technological innovations have really warped mating psychology. You can turn on the TV and be bombarded with thousands of pretty faces in about half an hour. Can you imagine that? I bet, back in the day, we saw less faces in a lifetime than what we see in an hour of watching TV. That has to do something to you. First of all, as seen in research testing the contrast effect, pretty faces makes you rate average faces lower. What does this mean? It means that we’ll search in vain for our “partner pot of gold” and never be satisfied with the immediate choices we have.  Sheesh, talk about crappy. :( What if we turned off the TV and ignored the magazines? What if we only did our work and shopping around a constrained radius? Would we be satisfied with our potential choices then? Probably not completely (there will always be alternatives) but we’d probably be a helluva a lot happier. It just blows my mind. We now have the capability to talk to people in different states – countries – and, possibly, fall in love. That, to me, is evolutionarily novel. These are people, in the past, that we would not have been able to include in our mating pool.  Does this make sense? Since this is an evolutionarily novel environment and we’re still, for certain cognitive domains and modules, primitively hardwired (Ok, maybe that’s a broad brush stroke, whatever). This means that we probably have issues discriminating between people on TV and potential mates. In our old school minds we think: Pretty faces = potential mates. Real world example Take Shannon’s friend. She came from Pennsylvania and we met and then she went back. Travel is feasible, yeah, but staying in contact after meeting her, would not have been possible. It would be “out of sight, out of mind.”  Take Shuby’s friend. She found me interesting and now wants to be my friend (bleh, I’m stressed out about that – that’s for another blog) even though she lives hundreds and hundreds of miles away. These are girls I would not have been able to talk to without technology and it screws my feeble ape mind! Haha, I find it so ironic that I couldn’t get that dumb girl who lives in town to like me, but I got the attention of girls hundreds of miles away. *sigh* I finally took her off my myspace… Updates ·         Shannon’s friend leaves tomorrow. It was nice having her to hang out with. Haha, it made me realize that girls are expensive and a lot of work – haha, maybe I don’t want a gf after all.  ·         I’m excited to finally get a copy of The Woman who never Evolved by Sarah Hrdy. In the spring, I’m buying her other book. I really love Sarah Hrdy and all her talk about female monkeys lol. ·         I felt like a jerk. I told someone a couple days ago “You’re not creative.” I said it nicely and it just kinda slipped out, but I know I made her feel a bit bad. Seriously, if you knew the context of the situation, you would be like “Tommy, that’s dick, man.” Lol ·         I realized that I’m a little bit…hmm, I can’t think of the word. I always thought everyone was like me or even more, but apparently not. (I have to vague lol)  Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Shake the Disease -- Depeche Mode (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 29th, 2009
4:29 pm	Groceries If I didn’t have a roommate, I would totally become a total recluse. He left on Wednesday to a conference and I’ve been stuck in my apartment, shirtless, since. What did I do yesterday? I went to the gym and then sat in the Jacuzzi, for its supposed “thermogenic” powers.  Today I made a trip to Albertson’s just to get out of my apartment. I ended up buying bananas, blueberries, two gallons of milk, a cartoon of 18 eggs, dried onions, and stuff to make hot dogs. I haven’t shaved since Monday and my clothes were all wrinkly – I’m guessing I looked like a hobo today. Seriously, when my roommate leaves, I just sit in the dark watching Disney channel and Nickelodeon, listening to depressing music, and looking at hot fetish models on the internet… lol I haven’t even gone to school to finish my work. :( I found this girl from England - her name's Toxica.  She's purty. http://www.modelmayhem.com/646695   I was just going back and looking at the random crap I bought at Albertson’s. I think it’s so random that I needed dried onions to make green beans for Shannon’s friend when she comes to visit – that’s totally out of Napoleon Dynamite. “Hi shannon’s friend. I made you green beans.” (I totally address her as Shannon’s friend. Lol JK) Random things ·         This is the most I’ve blogged in a while. I remember I used to blog everyday back in the day --- Maybe I should un-privatize my entries… ·         I think that girl that I had a crush on is dating someone. I think it’s about time I delete her off my myspace. I hate myspace. ·         I think I’ve gotten even more bitter with relationships ·         I had another dream about her after I wrote about my dream. In this dream she called me and told me that she was miserable and didn’t want to be with her bf. I seriously doubt that’s the case. She’s happy… ·         The Korean girl called and read me random sentences from her paper and from her email and asked me to correct them. I was sleepy and told her I was about to go to bed – I did end up helping though. Haha and NO I don’t like her, trust me. ·         About less than a week ago, my sister called to tell me my mom accidently let one of the birds go – again. I wasn’t so sad that it was Cyrus. That bird was kinda lame. Lol I guess they were scared I was going to get mad – they ended up buying a new bird that’s just as tame and trainable as Linus. It’s been like two years and I’m still sad that Linus flew away. I bought Linus with her “Come on, Tommy, he likes you! He wants you to take him home!” Current Mood: bored Current Music: Love my way -- Psychedelic Furs (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
11:11 am	Indiana Jones, free food, and power ballads I love that school’s out – it gives me time to write pointless blogs like I used to. :) I’m still going to school though – so I had NO summer funding and was already planning to go back home in June, but my professor decided to fund me at the last minute. That means that I should be working on crap. Since Saturday, I’ve been reading and researching for my professor. He said he wants an email from me, everyday, giving him an update on what I’ve done. Haha, Tomorrow’s email will say “I wrote on LJ and did absolutely nothing.” Do you think he’ll allow that? My chance to become Indiana Jones The reason my professor changed his mind about the summer funding was because there’s a REALLY good chance that he’s going to send me to Dominica to work with an Anthropologist. Haha, when he briefly mentioned that a couple weeks ago, I called my mom and said, “There’s a chance I may go do field work. Yeah, the prof asked me if I had plans – I told him I was going back to El Paso to visit my family. If he offers me the trip I’m going to be like, “Screw my family! I’m going!” My plan would be to use that dataset for my thesis and my dissertation… Paper edits and free food During the weekend, I half-assed  edited the Korean student’s paper on marketing something or other. I feel so bad but it was painful to read. Who cares about suppliers and retailers and their relationships? Fun papers have words like “Females,” “Risky sex,” and “intercourse.” Aw, maybe I’m just a perv, but I can get away with it because those are my “research interests” lol. My stats presentation was on reproductive strategies, externalizing, and risky sex. I was so excited to put a picture of Brittanya from Rock of Love in my powerpoint.  I think it’s immoral doing research on how to make money. Last semester I joked with her that the people in marketing and consumer sciences were the devil. She got all defensive and said “Are you calling me a bitch?” “No, I didn’t say that. I said you were the devil.” (LOL I think it’s so funny how I had no problem calling her the devil. What’s more messed up to be called – a bitch or the devil?) Then she gave me this flawed philosophical premise about how I had called her a bitch.  It went something like this: Consumer science people are the devil. Therefore I’m a bitch. (something lame like that). I was really annoyed with her that day…. Anyway, she asked to take me out to eat since I fixed her paper. I REALLY didn’t want to go (I have a history of loving free food) but my roommate gave me this explanation that I  “deserved” the food since I worked. I ended up going.  'Cause I'm Free -- Free-loading!!! (do it to Tom Petty's song) (My entry isn’t making sense. I’m so distracted…) Random dream I had a dream about Her. It’s been a while since I’ve had a vivid dream with her and I having a conversation. I just find it so strange that I had it last night. There’s usually some catalyst in my life that makes her come up, but this dream appeared without anything provoking it. I was like in a fitting room and I saw her. She came up to me and let me know what was up with her. I remember getting a knot in my throat and just replying “congrats.” I think her new bf was wandering around, but I don’t remember much.  I hope I never ever see her in real-life. While I was at the bus stop today, I just sat there thinking about Her. I feel like I’m over her – I better be, since it’s been over a year – but how could she have moved on so fast?  I hate having random happy memories appear out of nowhere. I used to joke with Crisol that I had post-traumatic stress. I could be doing something and I’d just stop and get these random memories.  I used to freeze when I would look at the ends of loafs of bread. I would stop what I was doing and just look at them and remember “she used to like the ends of the loafs.” Haha, it sounds so gay but it was kinda traumatizing. One of the last times she texted me, I let her know that. “Everything reminds me of you! The ends of bread, songs I hear, the things I do, and the places I see.” I remember her sending me a text quote from “Precious” by Depeche mode. Crap, I wish I could remember what line it was… I want to say it was “Angels with silver wings shouldn’t know suffering. I wish I could take the pain for you.”  Hah, how did that end up? Well, after a few days of her texting and her texting me “goodnite” – I decided to text her a “goodnite” right back. I remember getting a “F*ck off.” When I asked her what was up, she texted that she had a bf. After that, a random number texted me all pissed off to leave her alone. What I’m guessing is that she was texting me when he wasn’t around, left the cell phone somewhere and he found it and texted me. Hey, she never mentioned she had a new bf. Haha, that’s messed up she did that behind his back and I got her caught. Still that’s what she gets. The next day she texted me from another phone telling he she had a bf and that she would never text me again.     Randomness Earlier, I dropped tea on pants. Lol It’s a long story… It reminded me of that skit on Saturday night live for those adult diapers, oops-I-crapped-my-pants. There’s a part where they have a pitcher of iced tea and the old man says, “let’s pretend that this pitcher of tea is your feces,” and then he pours it into a diaper… *sigh* I’m probably the only one that laughed at that. OHHH… Did you guys see daisy of love on Sunday? I couldn’t stop laughing at the part where the skunk went into the house and made every one gag! Damn, watching a bunch of buff guys running around in their underwear throwing up and dry heaving made me want to pee my pants. Planet Claire from the B-52’s is a really cool song….sorry that was random… I love Ryan. Lol He’s the only one that gets my random text messages about Daisy of love and Charm school. “Daisy, Daisy you’re my flower!”  I’m intent on writing a power ballad. Lol In my myspace blog, when I was writing in it, I had this hair metal concept album where every song was going to be about food. I mentioned that the hit power ballad on the album was going to be called “When all that’s left are crumbs.” For the last few days,since i finally have free time, I’ve been trying to come up with something on my guitar so I could write that song – since I have no talent, it probably will never happen. Still, that song would be GENIUS! lol  "When all that's left are crumbs" is going to be my "Every Rose has its thorn" -- just you see... ^__^ ...Because sometimes you experience something great and it goes away and all you're left with are --- crumbs.  *tear* lol  Hm, I still gotta work on some super cheesy lyrics but that's a good start!! *edit* Tenderness from General Public came on 80's alternative and I HAD to add that everytime I hear that song I imagine me and Ryan dancing and giving each other high fives...  80's alt on AOL radio is so random. Like I'd be crying to morrissey and then dancing to General public lol Forgot to add this!! *edit* This was a text conversation I had with Yvette. I had saved it and FORGOT to put it on!   Tommy: Haha I had this random thought: Would it be weird if I had a baby and named her Tomi? Lol it’s Japanese and funny. Yvette: omg! Don’t do it! Ha ha ha Tommy: Haha, aw but it’s a nice girl’s name! lol Yvette: Sure it is…but your name is Tommy…get it! lol Tommy: lol I still think it would be funny. Tommy and Tomi! Yvette: Very funny! Did you get someone pregnant? Tommy: Ay no! I hope not! Haha that’s scary! I just was randomly thinking about it. *shivers* Yvette: Okey Dokey…just checking! Tommy: Haha I died a little with that question… Yvette: Awwww…why? :( Tommy: Haha, no bebes for me! I’m not going to put my body parts in anyone…haha eh, maybe! Lol jk Yvette: Aww…me either! Lol! :0( Tommy: Haha you scared the crap out of me! No more naming my pretend babies! Yvette: Sounds like a plan!   Current Mood: curious Current Music: Pretty in Pink -- Psychedelic Furs (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
12:30 pm	Bored at school  I think I’m mentally retarded. I was reading a blog someone wrote about palm reading and I spent a LONG time just staring at my hands and tripping out. I’m probably a masochist too. Who the hell rides the bus when they have a functioning car?  It was so pretty outside, though. The desert actually had rain fall from the sky – like a hot chick peeing in a guy’s mouth. (lol!! I had to write that because I imagine that making Rina laugh!) There were these two creepy guys waiting for the bus, today, talking about crack, guys beating up their girlfriends and doing yard work for ten bucks. I just like to sit there and pretend like I’m an idiot… She’s lame lol Ok, so I told you guys about the Korean student that had wanted to go out to eat with me – yep I finally ran out of excuses and said I would. I was SO annoyed that I was going – I felt like the time my mom made me go to those stupid retreats for confirmation.  As I was walking to University (where all the restaurants are) I kept trying to come up with ugly things that I’d rather have done to me than eat with her. “Yeah, I think I’d rather get my pubes waxed, or someone can touch my butt, or…”  I was so amused by that that, when I got to where she was suppose to meet her, I had a big smile on my face. Anyway, it was ok, I just don’t like how passively pushy she is. She brought up she’s working on a paper and needs someone to edit it (*ding!!*). I freakin’ knew it. She ALWAYS bugs and flirts with me when she wants something. It’s so degrading.  I told her I would (I do it for everyone else) but it pisses me off that she does that. “Ah, I’m a dumb weak girl that needs help!” Seriously, she turns me off.  I want a girl that’s tough as nails. It reminds me of last semester…We went out and decided to go get pizza late at night. She was talking about how all the boys thought she was so pretty in Korea and how no one tells her that in America. She kinda looked at me waiting. My roommate was there and was like “Tommy, don’t drop the ball, Tommy!” I just looked at him and said, “Maybe I wanted to drop the ball.” That night I told him how she’s always pushy and using her “feminine” powers to boss me around – I told him that wasn’t cool.   Don’t think you can “seduce me” to get your way. That’s not how I work – also you’re not even sexual. You’re a bit of a prude. Last semester Crisol told me I was being mean because I was complaining about her. “Crisol, she’s giving me bf tasks without the bf perks! She wears panties that are guarded by the ghosts of her ancestors!” I’m glad that Shannon called me to go with her to visit her new apt complex… It helped speed up lunch. A little over week and Shannon’s friend comes to stay with me… She sounds excited to come. She’s cute… I guess I’m bitter A couple weeks ago, Shannon came by and dropped of “The evolution of Desire” by David Buss so I could read it. The book is basically a synthesis of research on mating behavior – blah blah blah…I know the basics, still, I wanted to read it because I have never read that particular book. Let’s go on a tangent: Personally, I’ve always thought that David Buss and his work was a bit lame. He may be THE guy in evolutionary psychology, but I really feel that there are people out there doing better work. Still I’m glad that my advisor was his student… It’ll mean I’ll come from a great academic pedigree. :) Anyway, he had a part where he was talking about the mating market and mate value. It got me thinking about how we choose the people we choose and how we get hurt when relationships dissolve… While I was walking to school, I started thinking about it again. That girl I really liked was pretty high mate value: she was very attractive, we had a lot in common, she’s almost done with school. *sigh* I had a lot to say but this topic just made me sad, again. Basically, I’m still sad about that dumb girl… It didn’t work out and I think it’s painful because she was really pretty and super interesting. (I know it sounds shallow but it seems to make sense.) If there really is a mating market and we all have a market value, then it would make sense for me to be sad at the higher loss in the market than a lower loss. Like you’ll get sadder if you dropped your steak on the floor vs. your candy bar. High values equal higher losses. I was telling shuby a story, a couple weeks ago, about this random dumb girl. In the story, I told shuby that I thought to myself, “This dumb girl is NOT hot enough for me to be putting up with this!” Again, it sounds so messed up but I had less to lose if I stopped pursuing her. Haha, “boys like you are a dime a dozen.” I hope I don’t sound so calloused.  *double sigh* I bet she thought I had low mate value. :(   Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Living on the edge of a broken heart -- Vixen (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 15th, 2009
10:49 am	The fun times...in my mind! lol I’m finished. My first year of graduate school is over and I’ve done the impossible – I survived! You often hear the horror stories about the bodies that never make the journey and, while you’re doing it, it makes you wonder if you’ll be another statistic in the grad school corpse cesspool. “Oh, that’s so-and-so, she “wasn’t a good fit” with our program,” you hear that all the time when we look at the grad school photo album – or “Yeah, that person couldn’t handle the work so the department and her came to a “mutual decision” that leaving would be a good idea.” Sheesh, I don’t ever want that to be me. I don’t want to be that person they talk about in the photo album. “That was Tommy, he couldn’t hack the program.” It’s like what I told my mom before I moved, “I’m getting my PhD or death – no other option.” Just because I’m through with my first year doesn’t mean that life is going to be strawberry fields forever. Next semester I signed myself up for evolutionary and behavioral genetics (exciting!!!) and I’m taking Multi-level modeling.   I’m seriously considering becoming a stats minor – yep, one of the professors is already letting me know that meta-analysis is going to be taught in the spring and that he wants me in that class.  (Even if I don’t minor in stats, I’m taking stats BEYOND the requirements.) Overall: I can hack grad school and the work. The difficult part was being the only damn person like me in grad school. The only brown boy, the only one that was into the stuff I was into, the only one who would know where I was coming from.  I hope my social life gets a little better – from the way the end of the semester got, I can see that things may be starting to shape up. Tommy’s Food Baby For my birfday, my good friend, Ryan E. Martin, gave me a fantastic book on weightlifting, so I could train for the sex Olympics lol. When I read the title of the book, it made me laugh – if Ryan and I had to come up with a title for a weightlifting book, that book would have been the title: “Hardcore Bodybuilding: A scientific approach.”  It’s just so…Tommy and Ryan! I could just see the conversation: Tommy: Dude, we gotta come up with a title that says that we’re hardcore about bodybuilding. Ryan: Hm, Hardcore about bodybuilding…hardcore about bodybuilding… what about *long dramatic pause* Hardcore bodybuilding! Tommy: That’s genius! Then we’ll add a colon, since cool titles always have colons, and write “a scientific approach” Ryan: Whoa, man, that’s deep. *High-five!* Anyway, the workouts in the book are really intense, I’m using the beginner/intermediate cycle, but I really feel like I’m growing. So a couple days ago, I weighed myself and noticed I had gained three pounds. I told Shannon who said, “Tommy, I think you just had a food baby.” I weighed myself the next day with Shannon there and my weight was gone! “Damn, Shannon, I had a food baby miscarriage.” On the plus side, I found I have 11.7 % body fat. I need to cut that down though.   So yesterday we had to take a potential grad student (who’s gay) out for drinks. We went out to a couple gay bars and in one, the waiters were in underwear. There was this buff dude serving drinks and it made me sad.  Seriously, I was distraught. Lol If I had been drinking, I probably would have started to cry. Haha, I’m such a wuss. Apparently, I’m not working out hard enough.  Upside: That buff waiter was probably gay so I get to keep the ladies for myself! Oh! And I ate a hot dog from a street vendor – it made me so happy.  Hm, maybe there’s a correlation between me eating random street hot dogs and me not getting sexy…  Adventures on the bus Yesterday, after my developmental psychopathology final, I decided to ride the bus home. As you know, I like to take the bus to see my “people” and to observe all the crazies who ride the bus. There was this really fat, hunchback man that smelled like butt. Seriously, he smelled like ASS. Like someone put their hand down their pants and scrapped off all their nasty butt sweat and rubbed it in my face. Lol it was wrong. There was this girl on the bus that looked like she was retarded. One of the ladies sitting down must have recognized her and was all “Hi, how are you today?” lol I wanted to laugh at their conversation because it made no sense: Lady: Hi, how are you today? Girl: *Mumbles for a while* Lady: Huh? Girl: *Mumbles for a while* Lady: Ok. I wanted to yell out “LIES! LIES! Everything is not OK -- You didn’t even know what she said!” Then I wanted to laugh because, in my head, I was all “Damn, why is that girl even riding the bus? Don’t they have animal shelters where they keep people like that?”  (I’m not a jerk, I just come up with really really mean one-liners to amuse myself.)  Would you smoke a stranger’s cigarette? There was this crusty looking lady smoking a cigarette at the bus stop and this guy came up to her and asked if she had an extra one. Instead of taking one out, she took the one from her mouth and gave it to him. I was disgusted… It’s up there with sharing your chapstick.  Awkward!   I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m very very horny. Lol  It affects your behavior. So yesterday, before my class, I sat in my usual spot looking over my notes for my presentation. The brown haired girl that works in the lab sat next to me and starting talking to me about class and other crap. (Just for the record, I think this girl has a bf because she’s always on the phone and texting.) Anyway, we were talking, blah blah blah, and, you know, it’s common courtesy to look at the person when you’re having a conversation – but, for a moment, it got really awkward. We both stopped talking and we just sat there and stared at each other. AWKWARD!   She had really pretty big brown eyes though… haha So yeah, I think there’s a certain level of horny that affects your behavior… like you can get away with more because you have an excuse… does that make sense? Eh, it doesn't help that shannon's friend was sending me random drunk texts... Current Mood: happy Current Music: The Climb - Miley Cyrus (screw you, I like that song!) 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Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
9:21 pm	Something in the water... Ok, seriously, what’s in the water? People just seem to be acting weird or I’m just freakin’ psycho. Something in the water, I guess… I just realized that I have many interactions with girls…need to talk to more boys to spice up the blog. …But that’s just life when you’re in a grad program with a majority of grad and undergrads are female. The psych class I have is the same way… Good for me :) INAPPROPRIATE!! There’s this girl in my class that I sometimes talk to. She’s really nice and I’m glad to have an acquaintance outside of my department. Today, though, she kinda creeped me out. We had movie day in class and she sat next to me. Before the movie started, she looked around her backpack for something. She turns to me and goes, “Do you have chapstick I can borrow?” I take out my chapstick and say “Yeah, I actually have two!”  Ok, this girl is a stranger. Someone that I’ve never really gotten to know – she gets my chapstick and the starts to rub it on her lips! First of all, sharing your chapstick is a little weird (I’ll let that pass that she asked me); Secondly, I thought she would at least use her finger to get some (I would’ve let that pass also). I was a bit grossed out when she did that and all class I just kept thinking, “EUGH, I need to get rid of my chapstick, YUCK!!” Lol I imagined the conan o’brien skit while she rubbed the chapstick -- *INAPPROPRIATE!* Dude, that’s just freaking gross – this is coming from me. Me. The boy who puts the most disgusting things in my mouth, the boy who would pick up food from the floor and eat it, the boy, on a dare, picked up a random drinks and chugged them.  Using chapstick, that’s just inappropriate. Lol Hungry Eyes This happened a few days after I had the chapstick incident. I studied with that girl from my class, the one that used my chapstick, today. She was hungry so we went to the union so she could grab something to eat. Because I suck at life, she ended up ordering Burger king. Do you know how HARD it was to watch her eat that? It was like a sex addict looking at naked girls! I was their just staring at her burger with hungry eyes. *sigh* Once a fast food addict, always a fast food addict. To make things even more messed up and Tommy-esque, this boy sat close to use and had a huge burger and French fries. Again, I stared at the burger like cleavage (not exaggerating). After staring for a while, I noticed he had this huge elephant man finger. I felt bad that I was staring. He probably thought I was staring at his elephant man finger. Sorry, man, I just thought your burger was sexy… Why Ryan and I are such good friends Tommy: Never fails. They always play “Say Hello to Hector” Ryan: Maybe it’s a sign? You should get on his myspace and say hello. Tommy: LOL! That’s exactly what I was thinking! Ryan: Do it and just put hello. Tommy: lol I will Tommy: Dude, that’s so sad that I’m in my cubicle laughing at that. Ryan: If it makes you feel better, I’m alone in my room laughing at that and crying inside cause I might have to go to jury duty. Tommy: I’m crying on the inside because I haven’t tried the mini sirloin burgers and petted the cattle the size of schnauzers. Ryan: lol! I need mini burgers to fill the void in my life. Ryan: That reminds me, there’s a he-man character whose real name is Hec -Tor Tommy: That’s like wizards on the Disney channel. “Your name is Manny…Ken.” Ryan: lol! I wish I had a cool name! Tommy: You do! Ryan E. Martin barbeque sauce. Just say your name before a product. It works, just not on tools. The best damn tools in America are John Hudson Tools. Ryan: lol! John Hudson! I forgot about that guy. Tommy: I heard he got rich working at echostar. Ryan: That bastard… Tommy: I still remember that pic we drew of him holding the giant donut. Ryan: Oh yeah! Lol that was funny! Tommy: Goodtimes… Ryan: Seriously, when are we ever going to draw Hudson again? Tommy: When he becomes president of echostar and weighs 400 pounds. Ryan: LOL!   The dream age I’m such a jerk. Lol Ok, so there’s this Korean girl from consumer sciences that was my friend last semester. I hung out with a few times last semester, she was purty, but she was too damn happy. Lol After a while, I kinda lost touch with her (because she was too damn happy, I felt like she kept asking me for too many favors, and because I had a crush on a cute dark haired girl that was interested – we know how that turned out). Anyway, the last few weeks, she’s been coming over and talking to me again. The weirdest time (did I mention she was odd? Not like the cool edgy odd but like the odd that makes you scared) was when she started talking about “ages” in time – the stone age, the industrial age, etc. “Tommy, do you know you what the next age is going to be?” I had no idea what to answer her. “It’s going to be the dream age. People are going to connect through emotions and stories and want to be close to everyone.”  Hmm, yeah now I remember why you scared me… lol So she went off on how people market products with stories and emotion and then went off on how people like things they can touch. “Do you know why people like the iPhone? Because they can touuuuuchhhh it *rubs her hand up my arm*” Uh, ok, yeah… lol   She saw my little calendar book open and circled a day and said she wanted to go out to eat with me. If she bugs again, I might, but she’s just too happy!!! I like girls who are sad and talk about death and bondage lol. Lovebird’s big day out So a couple weeks ago, I went back to El Paso, for a few days, to visit family and go to the crime victims ceremony. While I was there, I made sure to visit with all my birds and my lame turtles.  Ok, so the lovebirds are the smartest of all the birds we have. They’re somewhat tame and can open their cage door. My mom doesn’t like them to come out anymore so she put twistys on their cage. Those damn birds spend hours untwisting the twistys and getting out. One of the days I was there, I thought it would be nice to put the birds outside to get some air. A few hours passed and I was in the garage doing something. I heard one of the lovebirds doing a call and then hearing another bird, really far away, calling back. “Oh, how nice the lovebird found another lovebird in the block,” I thought. Yeah, then it hit me… I opened the door and saw only one lovebird. I looked all over the cage and the other bird was gone. Looked at the door and the twisty was missing… Crap. The bird in the cage kept on calling the other bird and I kept hearing the bird calling back – I ran inside and told my mom, who ran to the other side of the block. After a while, I ran and found the little lovebird looking at us from the tree. I run back home and bring the cage so the other bird can call the bird down from the tree. After a while, the bird came down and landed on the cage. I told my mom to just keep walking with the bird on the cage. She was afraid the bird would fly away if she did that, so I told her to open the cage. The stupid bird walked in and acted like nothing happened. Lol Update I never told you what happened with Shannon’s friend. The day I was drunk, that night, I got a text from her saying “You need to come out tomorrow. I really want to see you.” I ended up going, blah blah. At the end of the night (I was sober and she hadn’t had much to drink) she gives me a hug and kisses me… Dun dun dunnnnn lol … So that next Friday, they end up hanging out at shannon’s house (a week later). I decide to play Edward 40 hands and her friend ends up making out with me again… Yep, that was a fun week for me… Just to let you know, her friend got a job here and is planning to move during the summer. She has to go to a training thing before she starts so she’ll be coming in a couple of weeks. Shannon is going back home and her friend didn’t want to stay with Ashley…   Hm, I kinda have a house guest for about a week and a half… lol Does this girl like me? Observations There’s this pretty blonde girl that wears hot thick black framed glasses in my class (I’m not into blondes but I’ve thought she was really pretty since the first day of class). I felt like the entire semester, I was just going to look at her and never say anything. I even felt like I was creepy because I’d see her looking at me and I’d be like “Ok, don’t make it obvious.” Every time that class meets, I wait thirty minutes before class just to get some air. The past few weeks, I’ve been noticing her getting to class early, but I never said anything to her. One of the times, she sat RIGHT next to me and I couldn’t say anything. Today I got to my spot 45 minutes early to study for my test. She was there. I’m very proud to say that I ACTUALLY had a conversation with her. She didn’t get creeped out by me AND laughed at what I said! To make things even better, this pretty brown haired girl that works in one of the labs came and sat with us.            Moral of story: If I concentrate really, really, REALLY hard, I can talk to pretty girls and not look dorky. Yay! Another observation I had: If you wear tight pants and you’re talking to a girl, she is almost always going to look at your crotch. Talk about pressure…my crotch in these pants looks odd. Like my boy parts get all squished lol. The girl that I had a crush on (yep, the one that led me on -- I still kinda like her ) came to talk to me after not talking to me a for a few weeks. She stared at my crotch…lol The pretty brown-haired girl did it too… It's so weird -- like they'll be looking at you in the eye and then you just see their eyes go down and then up to your eyes and back down.  I bet that's how girls are when they're like "that guy was staring at my chest."           Moral of the story: Wear tight pants! lol Bleh, I just spent two hours at the gym...   Current Mood: tired Current Music: The Killing Moon -- Echo and the Bunnymen (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
6:37 pm	More Issues than Rolling Stone Ok, so I was still kinda drunk when I went to school this morning.  Instead of doing work, I've been watching slayer videos. As I was walking to my building, I kept wondering why I was so wet and I noticed that my stupid water bottle opened in my backpack and ruined all my journal articles and my hw. lol  I was like "yep, I might be a bit drunk still." Um, I kinda threw a tantrum last night -- yeah, i feel so bad the next day when I get drunk and pissed off.  I was annoyed and I just walked away.  There was this girl that kinda liked me lol and she probably doesn't like me anymore.  She sent me a text asking where I went and I was like "screw you, I'm not answering!"  And then I wonder why girls don't like me. lol My friend Crisol is STRONGLY urging me to go talk to someone.  She says that I might really be losing my mind -- and I don't blame her. I remember tears running down my cheeks by the end of the night.  Ay. I really have to say all this BS started because I noticed how gossipy people were.  I HATE when people gossip about me. Friday So friday I hung out with Shannon and her friend.  We ended up getting really drunk and her friend made out with me.  Um, yeah and I got rug burns on my knees.  Next thing I know, the whole world knows.  That's not my style.  It was so random.  Like I remember shannon being silly and dancing with me and then her friend started dancing with me.  Next thing I remember she's kissing me.  I KNOW that when she did that I probably had a blank look on my face like "Did you just kiss me," since no one ever does that anymore. I hate it when you get so drunk that you just black out and just have snapshots of your night...not good, Tommy. groceries I was just thinking about this old post I wrote years ago on LJ. I talked about how I didn't need condoms because there's no point when you're celibate.  So yesterday I went to by fruit and stuff at the grocery, and I somehow ended up at the condom section. I started thinking that maybe it's not douchey and toolish to buy condoms when you don't have a gf.  It's actually really responsible, even when you're just seeing Hand-gela. lol So I pass by and look at them and ride my shopping cart really fast away from them. I kinda linger around the frozen foods and wonder "do I really need condoms?"   "Oh, Tommy. After Friday, it's best to keep some handy."  I ended up kinda getting them and running away lol. That reminds me of her. I remember she used to always get mad at me because I was a wuss when it came to buying condoms. "Tommy!!! Don't you want to do things? Buy the condoms!"  "No, I'm embarassed." Where are all the mexicans? I've never been all "VIVA LA RAZA!" but I really miss the being around my people lol.  I'm never really conscious of it, but then I always have this moment where I'm like, "I'm always saying no one gets me. Could it be because of my race?"  I've never really considered it and it sounds a bit silly, but I wanted to take everything into consideration.   Among my group of friends here, I'm the only brown boy.  When I want to see my people, I ride the bus and visit Food City lol.  They're always there. Crazy lady in my class Today in class we found out that the lady won't be attending class anymore.  Apparently it's getting too much for her to deal with the subject matter.  I feel bad.   Dude, I want to get Friday night out of my mind or do something to redeem myself... Current Mood: Ruminating Current Music: Lucretia, my reflection -- sisters of mercy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
8:19 pm	So the majority of my lab went to Denver for a conference in child development -- haha, since i'm a loser, I stayed behind.  I had a meeting with my advisor last week and he asked me how his project was going (He's on sabbatical but he put me in charge of a part of his project). lol I just kept stuttering because, frankly, I haven't really been keeping up with it. Great Escape Last night my sister called me and was all "Guess what happened to your turtle?"  I got all scared that one of my turtles died.  It turns out that my mom overfilled the tank and one of the turtles climbed out.  My dad found him running away in the hall.  *cue the benny hill music* lol  My Turtles kinda creep me out.  WHenever I go to visit, they swim up and just stare at me.  I remember during the Christmas break, I walked in on them and they looked like they were comforting each other.  One was looking down at the other and was touching the turtle's back.  I felt like I was interrupting something.  They finally noticed me and swam up all fast like "hey,  so how's it going? Nothing's going on!" Ah, I love my turtles. They're like my creepy, slimey, bald headed babies.  I still love my birds more. lol I still remember how I got my turtles... Nazarene's nephew got it as a present and wasn't really taking care of it.  She was all "Tommy,  take that turtle home." I was like "I don't want to take care of it." "Do you want it to die? It's going to die if you leave it here because he doesn't know how to take care of it. Take it." The rest was history. My two cousins had the same type of turtles (they were really huge) that lived in a TINY little aquarium. They couldn't move -- i'm not exaggerrating.  So they went on vacation and left them with me.  One of them died while with me and the other one we kept.  Lady in my class If you've been a follower of my myspace blog, you've already read about the lady in my class how freaks out.  Today we were talking about PTSD and a clinical psych student brought up how he had been working with kids who were raped.  When he brought that up, the lady started banging and shaking the table and then she yelled and started crying.  She's done this a few times before, but the class, including myself, were visibly freaked out.  Most times, we pretend that nothing happens, but this time the teacher had to stop class. It was so uncomfortable. There's this girl that I talk to once in a while in that class.  lol The first time I met her and she started talking to me I was like, in my head, "This girl is a weird looking Mexican!"  It turns out she's Navajo.  So she sat next to me and the lady -- after class I walked her to her class and we talked about how freaked out we were.  How can I  be charming? So when I was talking to her, I was talking to her pretty comfortably and making her laugh.  While we were talking I kept thinking, "why is it that I can be a pretty interesting guy when I don't find a girl attractive but the moment I like them, I freeze up?"  Speaking of being charming, the girl that I have a crush on gave me a ride home on Tuesday.  It was weird. I haven't been paying attention to her since I know she doesn't want to get to know me. :(  I felt bad being a jerk and ignoring her so I went and said bye to her.  She asked if I needed a ride and I told her no.  She insisted that it was no problem.  I told her that it was out of her way -- I finally gave in.  Why do you think she would want to give me a ride? She was in the office today.  I just waved and that was it.  We didn't talk.  For some reason everyone wanted to talk to me.  *sigh* I wish there were more girls around.  I'm pining over her because I see her so much and because I have no alternatives for mates. People, if you're randomly reading this blog, please add me! All my LJ friends are gone! Current Mood: curious Current Music: Coheed and Cambria -- A favor house Atlantic (Haha, Old school!) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 30th, 2009
2:18 pm	I'm Manic at school :) Ah, I love when I have this burst of energy at school. It's so weird. I really feel like it's mania -- I can write about anything and I have dreams that I'm doing genius, genius work. :)  I'm currently working on a research proposal for my class and it's currently six pages single spaced lol.  Yep it has to do with borderline personality disorders and reproduction. I really feel like I can't stand still!! WOO! lol I was so excited, I went to Marco, the visiting professor from italy, and started to talk to him about a paper regarding stress responses in females.  lots of fun.  Like out of a movie scene Have you ever had those moments that are so fake they seem like out of a movie?  lol I had one last week and it was so strange.  One of the grad students asked for my opinion based on her stat hw results.  She found that if youre in a relationship you'll have less body issues or something.  She asked me what I thought that meant.  I was like "well, if you have someone, you don't really have to worry about how ugly you look because you have someone. Like when you have no one, you're fixated on your insecurity like *I BLURT OUT MY INSECURITY*"  I meant to say body mass but accidentally blurted out what I'm insecure about. I KNOW it showed on my face that I didn't mean to say that.  The silence may have lasted a couple seconds, but it felt like forever.  It was the oddest thing.  I was SOOO embarassed! Well I guess I better get back to work... Eh, the girl that I have a crush on (that led me on) is working across the room.  If i wasn't hunched over, I'd be able to see her. :( (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 29th, 2008
1:08 pm	random  Damn, I leave LJ a few years and it gets all fancy shmanzy!  I was reading back on my entries (a lot have been put on private) and I MISS how I would write!  There's was something so nice about my quirkiness.  My Myspace entries are really interesting and funny (at least to me) but they are dry and sterile. Things on my mind: I went to Mavericks with Alex on Sunday (I only went out on a "work night" because I was off!) and I had TONS of fun! I didn't drink too much.  It sucks because this girl looked at me and smiled.  When she did that my face contorted and my eyes sunk in...yeah, I better start working on smiling back! lol I hate people that speak spanish, are old or disabled. lol They always call and complain at work and they just piss me off!  I'm so mean but they always have to tell me the same thing, "I'm 65 years old and I'm disabled!" Have you heard Kristin Kreuk is coming out in Street Fighter?  Yeah I'm excited! I need human contact lol.... I'm going to start writing in this the way I used to...I know that 98% of my friends aren't even active anymore... Current Mood: contemplative (10 Comments |Comment on this)