It's become very clear to me that my emotional needs need to be met.
There’s something really ironic about me answering all these texts and calls when I’m living in a dark box, perpetually sitting in bed in my sad undies. It could be early in the morning or late at night – it makes no difference. It’s always dark and quiet and always feels like one long night. Sometimes I pace around and sometimes I squeeze my pillow like it was someone I loved very much. *buzz buzz* Then I get a text from someone wanting me to make it all better. Didn’t the Neverending Story have some Swamp of Sadness? I probably live there now.
I think I posted that the girl I was dating (but then stopped) got mad at me and stopped talking to me. That lasted about a few months. She started talking to me again. Told me that there was a guy in her department they wanted to set her up with. There was no point to tell me that. A few weeks ago, she just stopped texting me or responding to my texts. There was no massive fight – one day she just stopped texting. I asked her last week where she had been. She just answered “IDK, just been antisocial.” Told her I was going to have a “graduation” for my training thing and never got a response. Yesterday, after a week of silence, she texted me a meme. I responded and never heard back from her. A couple hours, she texted me about school and how she wants to leave Arizona. Again, I texted back something like “sorry was at the graduation. What happened?” No answer again.
I have no idea how I got into this weird Jennifer Connelly movie marathon. When I was little, I thought she was really pretty but never really paid much attention to her movies. It’s those dark eyebrows *sigh* lol
Last night I saw Requiem for a Dream and it didn’t upset me as much as I heard it was going to. Lol I just kept wondering what my dark sad box would look like if it was a Requiem for a Dream montage.
A few weeks ago I saw Labyrinth. It reminded me of my ex-girlfriend from undergrad. She used to always watch that movie with her nephew. Ugh, I still can’t get “Dance Magic Dance” out of my head…
Bottom line: I have watched a ton of Jennifer Connelly movies, interviews, and behind the actors studio in my sad box. Lots of fun. I want to have a family so I could dress up like the Goblin King and force my kid to dress like the baby in the movie.