There’s something really frumpy and white trash about Canada. Everyone was doughy, jolly and really polite and their food was amazingly fattening. I went to Vancouver for a conference, last week, and made sure to escape the clutches of my professor and clingy PhDs to explore the cuisine of Canada and now I need a bypass.
The first day I got there, I ate this western burger that had smoked white cheddar cheese…O-M-G, it was so good. I washed it down with a ginger ale – the Canadian way, eh. A couple days later, I sunk out of the conference and walked to another really fattening place. I had a grilled cheese sandwich that had “Montreal Smoked Meat.” I have no idea what it was, but it was amazing. Tried poutine and wasn’t that impressed. Fries with cheese and gravy is pretty good, but I’m pretty vanilla with my fries. Give me plain fries with ketchup, thank you very much.
Drama at the Conference
I love my old advisor, but he gets me in a lot of trouble. After eating my poutine, he found me and ambushed me in front of a group of people.
“Tommy, I have a proposal for you! Blah blah is homeless tonight and needs a place to stay. Can he room with you?”
I should’ve said no because I’m a private person and I hate strangers, but felt obligated. The agreement was that this mofo was going to pay me half and then sleep in a cot. He tried to haggle me to drop the price and kept insisting that “the bed was fine.” No, dude, the bed is not fine. I don’t want you sleeping in my bed.
Guy was annoying and took power naps in the bed before the cot came. After I had the cot taken away the next day, he still had his stuff in the room and came back for another power nap. I let him know that I was going to be checking out at 3am and he said he was going to get his stuff out of the room “after the cocktail hour.”
Cocktail hour came and went, the final talk came and went, it was about 11 pm until he came by to remove his stuff. By this time I was visibly pissed off. Found him and was like “you need to move your stuff out of my room now!” Guy was bumbling his words saying he thought everything was cool and didn’t know there were problems. I must have looked scary angry because some other douche tagged along while he got his stuff out.
I felt so bad my old advisor saw me so pissed off.
PS: Why is it that when I search for “Tonight, Tonight” on youtube, it autocorrects to that lame song and not the Smashing Pumpkins?