I was deep into dreamland when my friend texted me about her dating experiences (actually, I got up to pee before she texted me). She's been talking to some manly dude that got a big hint about bringing flowers. Seems he made plans to surprise her with some, but never did. On top of that, my friend said he split the check on her...twice.
I told her I was so upset by that, I was going to blog about it.
Seriously, who does that? I'm short, hunchback, and live in a van down by the river, but I would never have my date split the check with me. I don't know if it's because I'm brown and instinctually want to bring all my dates flowers, a cow and a mariachi band, but you don't do that.
I'm thinking about the most recent experiences I've had with girls...
- During the summer, my friends took me to get ice cream and to meet some girl. I wasn't really interested, but paid for her ice cream anyway.
- The day I moved away from Arizona, I had breakfast with French Fry, the very cute and very young undergrad. She tried to pay for the bill, but I had gone in and paid for it when I was getting her a box for her biscuits and gravy and her pancakes. (By the way, she finally texted me after not hearing from her for two weeks.)
- The day Hairball told me she wasn't interested in me, she paid for my tea. She insisted because I've paid for her times before. I didn't want to feel like I didn't contribute, so I paid for the annoying hobo's sandwich. "What's this? What's in this?" That's an exception...Ugh, I'm still so mad about how that unfolded...
- The date before the tea, I took Hairball to a wedding. That morning I went out and got her a bouquet of flowers - I can't remember the last time I wanted to get a girl flowers. ...then I made the mistake of holding her hand...
- My crush/friend, a couple years back took me out on a "lesbian date" to a fancy Italian restaurant - including glasses of wine - and I couldn't let her get the check. I paid for her. I think she was really sad and needed to go out. *sigh*
I don't mind a girl paying for something small once in a while if she really, really insists, but splitting the check on a potential love interest is unacceptable - at least I thought so?
Ugh...I'm listening to Josh Groban. I hate, HATE him...I remember going to Barnes and Noble with Lisa and getting pissed off when they'd play his entire record. Nothing ruins browsing Suicide Girls compilations and sex books like Josh Groban making you feel like you're at church. "You raise me upppppp..." Hell, I think my dad even commented on that song once, "Are they playing chuch music on the radio?"
I saw an episode of the Simpsons where Lisa Simpson made friends with some little girl that used her imagination to escape her boring, lonely life. I felt like looking up the corny song they used on the show.
lol I'm just thinking about Lisa saying I was "poppy." I never denied liking pop music, but I end up listening to it ten years after everyone gets into it. I can't help if I love "Lady in Red" and, yes, I spent the entire summer listening to Taylor Swift's Fearless,spooning my pillow high as a kite and wishing I was holding hands with someone. That album came out like a billion years ago - I remember driving around with a girl I wanted to date that had that cd blaring.
Speaking about being dated, I was reading some celebrity site and an article came out about the blurred lines girl (I bet Robin Thicke splits the bill - I imagine him shimmying while passing the bill to his date - "I know you want it! I know you want it!" *shimmies away*). Because I had never actually seen the video and it's been out for like two years or something, I looked it up. The unrated version has a lot of boobs...it kind of made me feel dirty. Also, the entire time I was watching it I was like "Gibby's girlfriend is hot and naked!" Everyone knows the blurred lines girl as the blurred lines girl, I know her as Gibby's girlfriend from iCarly.
I've been on this weird fixation with eyebrows - the darker and thicker the better - gibby's girlfriend has nice eyebrows.